April 8

Dear Diary,

I’ve decided to take a more focused approach to our relationship. I feel like it’s just getting out of hand. Maybe I’m just desperate to feel control over something. I don’t know. Maybe I’m not desperate to feel control but I’m paranoid that I’m going about this all wrong. Maybe I’m doing as well as can be expected and these are current “normal”s given the circumstances. Look at that. A whole new list of things to research. At any rate, I feel as though I’m just saying stuff and not actually telling you anything. It seems like if we’re ever going to get anywhere and not spin in circles, the best solution is to find a way to stay on task instead of being consumed by the whole list. It also helps not have that thing happen like when you’re cleaning and hours later you have a bunch of half done things because something else also needed to be cleaned. See? This is my point. This whole thing here. Off task. So. I pulled out my planners and journals last night. I felt this amazing energy emanating from them. It’s as if my life has been on pause for months, and now I’m just trying to catch up. The more the pieces come together for me, the more I realize how true this is. Today I am setting up some things in my bullet journal, making a list of things to fill you in on, and getting at least some things from my mom’s house. If I do a little every day, then eventually it will all get here. Hopefully, before we’re ready to move again, but we like this spot for now. I know I can do this, but I forget it often. Focused approach begins tomorrow. I’m off to accomplish the things!

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