April 27-28

Dear Diary,

I’m sorry I didn’t catch up with you yesterday. I had some thoughts, but nothing really to say. Work was actually kind of busy which we weren’t anticipating, but it was productive. I was able to relax a little in the afternoon. I got some cleaning done. See? Nothing fantastic. Oh yeah and it’s getting close to shark week so I’m simultaneously “blah” and Sadness from “Inside Out” shooting tears from her face. Mostly on the inside though.

Relationship tension is in abundance around here lately. Not just in couples. General person to person relations in the ‘hood are tense. Nothing happened that I know of, but I suppose some of it could be related to him. Two of them did mention him to me the other day. He’s been sniffing around I guess. Probably noticed he was blocked. Did I tell you this already? If so, sorry. It could also just be that we’re all going stir crazy. We see each other constantly and never go anywhere or do anything. We might just all be on each other’s nerves.

I can’t decide if I want to take a nap or what. I’m really unmotivated, but I’m pretty sure that’s just my PMS talking. Or taking effect maybe? I feel incredibly lost still. Unfulfilled. Unsure of how to proceed in a manner that will work toward fixing it. I’ve spent so much time not believing that I had a say that I don’t know what to do with it anymore. Now, I can do what I want. The possibilities are pretty much endless. I’m smart, talented, capable, and stuuuuuuck. I’m bogged down by basic logistical problems. I am wading my way through them. Maybe it’s just that I feel like I’m stuck because I’m still cleaning up the mess this left behind. Basically, I can do what I want, but not yet and only kinda. I know I need to be patient. Everything in life is aligning for an amazing future. I just need to resist the urge to over-correct. Ok. And be honest with myself about what I truly want from life so that I can make decisions that best work toward those goals.

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