April 29/30

Dear Diary,

I’m frustrated. I feel stuck. I started back in counselling. Well, I made the appointment. I haven’t actually started yet. I’m looking forward to making some progress though. I need to get my shit together, ya know? I’m still not sure how I’m going to pay all the bills yet, and things are getting behind. It’s late now, and I think I’m just too tired to really put my thoughts together. I thought I was going to whine a bit about the kids tonight and my feelings, but I realize now that I can’t. Nope. Not can’t. Don’t want to. I want to collect my thoughts a bit more and accept my responsibility. I want to figure out how to repair things and move forward not just whine about them. For tonight, I’m just going to take this cat up on his offer to cuddle. Literally the cat has spread himself across my torso and gone to sleep. It’s cute, and I support the cuddles. He must know I need them because he tried to go to work with me today and then met me at the car when I got home. Meeting me at the car isn’t unusual, but it felt like he was trying to get me to stay home today when I was trying to leave.

From Instagram (@deardiaryofalowlife): He can’t be comfortable.

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