May 11-13

Dear Diary,

He contacted me yesterday “to wish me a happy Mother’s Day”. It didn’t take him long to descend into telling me that I’m garbage. He blames talking through text as the problem. *eye roll* Ok. I’ve lost the patience to be nice about the situation. I understand that everyone was hurt. I also understand that much of what he accused me of and insists I hurt him with was fabricated by him and supported by “evidence” he twisted by digging through my things and deciding what they meant. At this point, this contact is only relevant in that it showed me something that was right in my face. This is how the man who was supposed to love me treated me on Mother’s Day. (It’s historically a complicated day for me. My relationship with my mother isn’t great, and my kids have never been taught that it’s a day that matters. It’s not often anyone even does anything nice for me for Mother’s Day.)

What was right in front of my face is this. Two other males who are nothing more than friends to me. They aren’t seeking my approval or affection. They’re just friends who are male. One got me chocolate. Not just any chocolate. He noticed the chocolate bar I was eating the other day and specifically sought out that kind. Another cooked for us so that I didn’t have to. No strings. No craziness. Just genuinely nice gestures to show that they care and I matter. These men who have nothing to gain or lose went out of their way to make me feel appreciated and relevant. These men exist. They are amazing. I am grateful. They give me hope.

Now to go finish up the steps to the new job. Wish me luck!

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